• About

Remodeling House and Heart

~ Small moments. Revolutionary insights. Finding hope amidst the mundane.

Remodeling House and Heart

Monthly Archives: January 2015

Help Part II: Lending a Hand

28 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by Remodeling House and Heart in For the Love of People, Love, Quirky Stories

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Amazing Grace, Ex-Convict, help, Les Miserables, love, murder

les_miserables_quote-laughter- winter

Photo Cred located on the image.

Let me set the scene and refresh your memory: a man convicted of murder was sleeping in our family room.  Interestingly, I slept like a baby that night.  I woke up the next morning both surprised and disappointed in myself that I did not spend the night obsessing over the what ifs that had haunted me the day before.  I guess those ghosts had run their course and had floated on out of our house.

Yes, God had answered my prayers, however, I came to find that Mr. Richard was praying for his own protection.  While I went to bed with murder on my mind, Mr. Richard went to bed wondering if my husband, an attorney, was in cahoots with the County Attorney’s Office to set him up for some dubious parole violation.  Richard was trying to walk the straight and narrow and he thought to himself that that would be just his luck- the two attorneys that helped him find a warm bed for the night only did so to incriminate an innocent man.  Why else would all these people be willing to help a man like him?  Isn’t that just the way our world works?  Whenever someone tries to do something nice for us we think, “what’s the catch?”  Our world is so cynical and bruised from so much violence that we automatically assume the worst.  Richard and I were prime examples of this. Here we were, two harmless human beings racking our heads with anxiety because of the crazy shady world we live in.  Its either that or a sign that we watch too much T.V.  It all seems laughable now.  Just to be clear- there definitely was no plot to incriminate.

When I think of the month and a half or so that Mr. Richard lived with us I think of dinner.  Lots and lots of dinner.  If this were a movie, I would make a montage of all the dinners we shared.  The first few would be almost icy with us all feeling each other out and my husband, Emmanuel, trying to break the ice with his witty sense of humor.  Then, the montage would melt, a gradual progression, into laughter- lots and lots of laughter as we got to know Mr. Richard and became friends.

One day at dinner, Mr. Richard laughed a gleeful chuckle. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but he reminded me of someone.  There was something familiar in his laugh.  Later, while my son played with his toy cars, it clicked.  Imagine “Tow- Mater” from Disney Pixar’s Cars franchise.  Now imagine that Mater is a real man and now you have Mr. Richard.

Google Search for "Tow-Mater" yielded this adorable pic.  If this is your pic and you would like me to take it down I will- no problem.

Google Search for “Tow-Mater” yielded this adorable pic. If this is your pic and you would like me to take it down I will- no problem.

Just like Mater, Richard turned out to be the unexpected friend with a big heart.

For almost 10 years now I have consistently prayed for God to give me friends.  I always have a picture in mind of what kind of friends would be most desired.  These wished upon friends are of the happy hour and paint your nails together variety.  They are shadows of treasured friendships that I had long ago.  But in reality those special friends were reserved for that special time in my life.  At least that is what I suspect because God has never given me friends like that again.  Instead, God has blessed me with the friends that I didn’t know I needed.  Friends that I never would have imagined  would be my most trusted allies.  Friends of different religions, race, age, family background, interests, heritage, geography, etc.  I mean, what could be more different than a 50 something white man from the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas who grew up shooting squirrel and a 30 something Hispanic woman who grew up in a Texas city  bordering Mexico where she made up dances in her desert landscaped backyard? In 1983 when Mr. Richard was heading into prison I was a potty training, tricycle riding 2 year old. What do we have in common?  Nothing. Everything.

And yet, the three of us could sit around the dinner table and laugh and immediately get to the deepest levels of conversation.  We could get down to the issues that really matter in life.  I have learned that when you open yourself up to meeting people that are quite different from yourself you come to find that you are not really that different after all.  All it takes is a willingness to step outside your comfort zone and get to know someone new.

ice heart in snow

Life with our Tow-Mater friend was great.  As our friends and family got to meet Mr. Richard they were always shocked to learn about his past. You would have no idea that he had completed nearly 30 years in prison.  He was so patient and so kind and considerate.  He was always one step ahead of you- anticipating your needs. And our kids loved him.  They would often run to him as he walked through the door, nearly tackling him as they greeted him in for dinner.

During his time with us he fixed our bathroom sink, fixed a door knob, fixed a leaky pipe, installed a light fixture, installed our dishwasher (see “Confessions of a Dishwasher”), helped drain our flooded crawl space (see “When your House Floats Away”), created a brick pathway to our driveway, and helped to landscape our backyard (see “Tilling the Earth”).  He did all of this as well as other things that I am sure I am forgetting.

Amidst one of our many dinner conversations, Mr. Richard admitted that he did not mind doing work around our house because a lot of the time my husband was right there next to him.  Sometimes, Emmanuel would be getting home from court, still in a suit and tie, and he would go outside and pull weeds with Mr. Richard.  Mr. Richard said that he respected that because handy-work is not exactly my husband’s forte but that didn’t stop Emmanuel from helping.  Mr. Richard really values that idea and has said that people should, ” lend a helping hand.  Do what you can.  No matter what your skill set is you can always lend a helping hand.”

Found this on Pinterest via Farmnflea@ETSY

Found this on Pinterest via Farmnflea@ETSY

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Help: Part I- Meeting Mr. Richard

21 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by Remodeling House and Heart in A Leap of Faith, For the Love of People, Love

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Amazing Grace, Ex-Convict, help, Les Miserables, murder, prayer, prison, Redemption

Found on Etsy

“He did 30 years in prison for murder and he has nowhere to go.  I think he should come stay with us,”  the compassion in my husband, Emmanuel’s voice was dripping through my cell phone and into my ears where his words hung suspended in the air.  “Murder?”  I couldn’t get passed that word.

Emmanuel was filling me in on the details of Richard’s case meanwhile my mind was buzzing and fuzzy with images from one of my favorite stories of all time, Les Miserables.  It is a story of redemption for an ex-convict named Jean Valjean who devoted his life to serving God after repenting from a lifetime of crime.  I love that story.  It gets me every time.  But here I was in reality with Jean Valjean knocking at my doorstep and I was too afraid of the what ifs ringing in my ears to shine a ray of hope on a man who so desperately needed it.

“OK.  Yes,”  My own words echoing with finality like a gavel announcing the fate of a defendant.

That’s all it took to get me down on my knees in fervent and frenzied prayer.  It’s amazing how easy it is to pray when you are faced with such an illogical risk like bringing an ex-convict into the same home in which you potty train your children.  If only I prayed with such vigor on an hourly basis.

The people pleaser in me began fretting over what all our friends and family would think.   How could you have a complete stranger sleep under the same roof as your children?  Aren’t you concerned about what could happen?  What if he robs you blind in the middle of the night?

What if…?

What if ….?

What if….?

If you are reading this, then I am willing to bet that similar questions are running through your mind as you read on.   For some, it might put your mind at ease to know that Mr. Richard, as I have come to call him, was in fact very much like my beloved fictional character, Jean Valjean.  When my husband interviewed Mr. Richard we discovered that while in prison, he used his time to repent of his troubled past and found God in the bleakest of places.  Whenever Richard speaks of his repentance and the regret of his actions his eyes glean a sincerity and determination that could strike you to the core.  You get the feeling that if his bones could talk they would sing a prayerful hymn of humility and forgiveness.  “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me…”

Since his release from prison, Mr. Richard had been crashing on the couch of an acquaintance and persistently looking for a job but to no avail.  After about 6 months or so he found himself in a rut.  It was time for him to move on from his temporary place of residence but he had  nowhere to go, no job, no friends or family in the area of his parole and no possessions to his name.  His search for a job had proven near impossible over the past 6 months as he carried the burden of his crime with every application that he filled out. He had tried every church and shelter in the area.  They helped  in the ways that they could but no one was able to put him up for an undetermined amount of time so that Richard could get his feet on the ground.  He was at the end of his resources.  His family and fiancé were waiting for him in Arkansas but his parole nailed him down in Texas until he could be released to transfer his parole to Arkansas.

This is where his entrance into our lives began:  homeless, wanting to do what’s right but  feeling down on his luck and dragging his feet through the town with no place to go.  Richard sat with his head in his hands on a park bench that lined a nearby walking path with nothing more than his bicycle, $35 in his pocket and feelings of defeat.  Richard had nothing else to do but pray. At this time an acquaintance of ours spotted Mr. Richard and out of the goodness of her heart offered to help Mr. Richard.  How many people do that these days?  How many people see a stranger on the side of the road and pull over to offer a helping hand?  Not many.  But this compassionate woman set aside her own fears and what ifs and did just that.   She and her husband referred Mr. Richard to my husband Emmanuel who, after meeting Mr. Richard and hearing his story was ready to say yes.  He just needed for me to approve.  Thus the phone call while I was supervising the children play at the park.

We had opened the doors of our house to people before.  Some had a stained past and some did not but we had never had anyone come live with us who had committed murder.  Not gonna lie- I was scared.  Even after Mr.  Richard shared his testimony with me and I believed him,  I was still nervous. Who wouldn’t be? After all I am a woman, a mother of two small children, a wife.  This character is usually the one most vulnerable to horror and despair in suspenseful movies and books.  But, as I prayed, there was this gentle flame burning within me- guiding me towards the unknown.  As the flame flickered, the smoke whispered to have faith and trust that God is good and that God is in control.  The usual scriptures came to mind, “God has plans to give me hope and a future….” “If my God is for me whom then shall I fear…”  “Fear not….”  “For such a time like this…” etc. etc.

And, I trusted my husband of course.  The man had always led me to greener pastures.  Emmanuel was always right when it came to things like this.  Recently, Richard admitted to me that what stood out to him the most in this whole situation was that I trusted my husband to take the lead in this pivotal decision.  He saw it as a testimony of the strength of our marriage.  While I accepted the compliment, I did not view the situation that way.   I saw it more as a conversation between myself and my God.  I had been praying for months for God to show me how to be a servant and here was the perfect opportunity.  I saw this as a lesson in faith and dependence on the grace of God.

Mr. Richard walked through the door and Emmanuel introduced us, the kids nipping at my heels.

I smiled and shook his hand.  Richard promised me that he would do whatever was asked of him and thanked me profusely.  Meanwhile, I was praying like crazy.  Praying.  Praying.  And then more praying.    I got Mr. Richard towels.  Prayer.  I showed him around the house.  Prayer.  I introduced him to the kids.  Prayer.

I ushered the kids off to bed and braced myself for a sleepless night.  I had no idea what was coming around the corner.  Sleeping in my downstairs family room amidst legos and yoga mats and the laundry was an older, Arkansas parolee who had shot a man.  This would either be the beginning of a heart- warming and triumphant story a la Les Miserables or it would turn out to be something else.  Spoiler alert- it’s the former.

But the story is not in the destination; it is in the journey. I hope that you will come back and accompany Mr. Richard on his journey.  Having been one of his companions on this crazy ride, I can tell you that you won’t want to miss it.  Stay tuned.

les-miserables-7 on the top

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Follow Remodeling House and Heart on WordPress.com

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Recent Comments

Remodeling House and… on I Didn’t Go To Church Fo…
Michelle on I Didn’t Go To Church Fo…
Remodeling House and… on I Didn’t Go To Church Fo…
EmBe on I Didn’t Go To Church Fo…
Remodeling House and… on Living in The Fog

Categories

  • A Leap of Faith (6)
    • Living Unbound (4)
  • Backyard (1)
  • Bitterness (1)
  • Blogging 101 (2)
  • Faith (2)
  • For the Love of People (8)
  • Foundation (1)
  • History (1)
  • Kitchen (1)
  • Loss (1)
  • Love (6)
    • Bitterness (1)
  • Maid's Room (1)
  • Personal Growth (7)
  • Quirky Stories (3)
  • Uncategorized (8)
  • Wallpaper (1)
  • Walls (1)

Archives

  • July 2015 (1)
  • June 2015 (1)
  • April 2015 (1)
  • March 2015 (1)
  • February 2015 (3)
  • January 2015 (2)
  • December 2014 (1)
  • November 2014 (1)
  • October 2014 (4)
  • September 2014 (2)

Tags

1896 Amazing Grace antique milk bottle antiques backyard Being Brave being in the minority bitterness Blogging 101 broken pipe church churchianity cultivate dishwasher Eva's Best Drink Ex-Convict Faith Feeling Alone Feeling Vulnerable flooded crawl space Fog gallery wall getting dirty help historic district home improvement Hope Ice Inspiration Les Miserables loss love maid's room Mathew 5:44 Mathew 6 Melancholy Mexican American miscarriage mission work mourning murder nostalgia On the Journey Pacific Coast personal crisis plumbing post World War II prayer prison Queen Anne Victorian house Redemption relics renovating an old home renovation of an old home Road Trip Insights San Benito skipping church Starbucks Stories suffragette Sunday mornings taking a leap of faith Texas The Great Hanging of Gainesville the unknown tilling soil toilet wallflowers wallpaper removal

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Follow Remodeling House and Heart on WordPress.com

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Remodeling House and Heart
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Remodeling House and Heart
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: